Love Skill #22 – “Tell me More”


Love Skill #22

“Tell me More…” 

By Dr. Scott Peck & Shannon Peck 


Three little love words
“Tell me more…”
create entire new worlds of intimacy

“Tell me more…” When these three little words are softly stated while you are listening to someone, he or she will feel immensely loved and will continue sharing at an even richer level of soul.

Your goal as a Love Master is to fully hear and understand another person’s heart and also to create an environment where this person can fully hear his or her own heart. These are empowering and enriching love motives.

It is more normal in our lives, however, to almost compete for a turn in a conversation. Often we just give up trying. So when we speak and then a Love Master says to us, “Tell me more…” we may be stunned. We might even think, “Could this be true? Does this person genuinely want to know more from me?”

And then an internal question might also surface within us in the silence, “What more do I actually have to say? I need time to reflect on this before speaking. But oh, this silence and respect and honoring feel so good. I feel genuinely loved. Let me see, what do I want to say now that I feel safer and more genuinely loved?”

That’s the internal dialogue that is often going on within another when you combine silence with the encouraging phrase, “Tell me more…”

Do you see the enormous love impact these three little words can have when combined with genuine and encouraging silence?

You can repeat these three little words often. You might find new ways to say the same thing, but the beauty of “Tell me more…” is that it leaves it entirely up to the other party to decide what to talk about.

For example, suppose you said: “You just mentioned your sister. Tell me more about your sister?” This might seem very loving and, actually it is loving. But it also forces the person to now talk more about the sister. You, not the other person, have now set the agenda. Without knowing it, you may have derailed an opportunity for even deeper intimacy.

If you had simply said, “Tell me more…” the other person might have talked about the sister or might have found his or her heart moving in an entirely new direction, basking in the freedom of your love space. Let the other person be the decision-maker.

“Tell me more…” is another almost invisible love skill. It ever so gently keeps a conversation moving and expanding but in a completely unobtrusive way.

You’ll be happier too, in your own relationships, when you make space for your friends to ask you those golden words “Tell me more….”


Love, through you,
knows how to open hearts

Action Step

Practice becoming natural & frequent
with these three little “Love words”
that create giant heart

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Copyright (c) 2006-2017 by Scott & Shannon Peck

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