Love Skill #34 – Facilitate Equality


Love Skill #34

Facilitate Equality

By Dr. Scott Peck & Shannon Peck 


All hearts are honored
in an environment of equality

Facilitating equality means you champion everyone’s right to have equal time to speak, be heard, and be cherished. A lack of equality leaves us feeling socially depleted, overlooked, and wanting something more real.

It takes courage to step up and appoint yourself as a love facilitator, but this is the mark of a Love Master.

Watch the process when several people gather. One person often dominates. Without regard to other’s hearts, this person may monopolize. Others don’t feel right about interrupting, changing the subject, or creating equality. Everyone is subject to those who dominate – unless a Love Master intervenes with the love skill of facilitating equality. Everyone is glad when this happens!

Here’s how it works.

At the very beginning of a gathering, decide to be the one to create equality for everyone. Get the group’s attention and suggest that everyone take turns sharing so there can be equality and greater intimacy. Pick an easy or juicy love question and suggest that each person take about three minutes to share from the heart. You might even take the first turn and model it for the others unless someone else is eager to start. It takes practice to get smooth at this, but how much more interesting for a group to share at a heart level with equality than to have stray conversations that leave others out.

A Love Master is highly conscious of each one receiving equal time. You, as a Love Master, are also protective that no one is interrupted or cut short. You can gently intervene when someone interrupts so that the speaker can complete his or her turn.

A great way to proceed after each person has shared is to go another round of sharing. Suggest, perhaps, that each person add something new, or comment on what someone else shared that touched them. They can even share love messages from their hearts about what the entire experience has meant to each of them. Everyone gets another three minutes. And so on.

If someone gets carried away and goes over the time limit, you can, again, be the love facilitator (you are doing everyone else a big favor!) and ask the person softly to bring it to a closing sentence.

Generally, once everyone gets the sense of what the process looks like, no one interrupts. Sometimes, however, someone will forget and begin to have a private conversation aside from the group. As a love facilitator, you can politely ask those people to hold their private conversation until after the group sharing, so everyone gets an opportunity to speak and be acknowledged.

All hearts are fed in an environment of equality. As a Love Master, you know this and take pleasure in creating equality, even when it’s not so easy. Others will thank you and learn this love skill through your modeling.


Love embraces & adores each of us,
throughout the entire universe,

Action Step

Practice becoming a sharp observer of inequality
and then practice the art (& joy) of facilitating equality
wherever & whenever Love guides you to act

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Copyright (c) 2006-2017 by Scott & Shannon Peck

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