Love Skill #38 – Create Interdependence


Love Skill #38

Create Interdependence

By Dr. Scott Peck & Shannon Peck 


Interdependence is the healing, empowering
middle ground between
dependency & independence

Interdependence is a place of exquisite unity where no one loses individuality or power and no one becomes dependent.

Many people in relationships are either highly dependent or highly independent. Interdependence is the healing, empowering middle ground between these two positions.

Interdependency honors each person’s desires, needs, feelings, ideas, and ways without letting any party become either submissive or dominating. In interdependent relationships, unity, balance, and love thrive.

Here’s how can you create interdependence as a Love Master.

In helping others move away from dependency, begin by seeing them as whole and capable of intelligent thinking and acting. Give them extra opportunities to speak out and share ideas. They may not be accustomed to such self expression, so create the conditions for this to come forth. Move them to the middle ground of equality. Be a catalyst that brings out their talent.

For example, you might say, “You’ve been very quiet during this discussion. I’d like to fully hear your ideas and recommendations.” Or you might say, “You haven’t had a opportunity so far to be in charge. Why don’t you take the leadership role for awhile. I’d appreciate that.”

To help someone move away from domination, gently but firmly move the energy towards middle ground while still honoring the person. You might say, “You’ve shared lots of good ideas. I’d like to share my ideas now too.”

Of course, you yourself may need to move from either dependency or independence to interdependence. Observe yourself with honesty. Have the courage to swing the scale to the middle decisively. Decide to create more love.

If you have been leaning towards independence, you might say, “I’ve been talking and leading a lot, perhaps too much, and I’d like to support more equal sharing. Would you please take the lead for awhile?”

If you are too dependent, you might say, “I’ve been rather reserved and allowed you to take the lead. I’d like to have the opportunity for us to share more equally and I’d appreciate your help in giving me that opportunity. I think this will expand our love.”

There are many ways to create interdependence. The key is not the words you use, but your attitude. A Love Master’s heart is keenly sensitive to moving relationships to the healing place of interdependence. Love flourishes here because all parties are honored. There is more relaxed joy – more discoveries of each other’s talents and riches. Love expands.


Love & it’s infinite universe is One
We are interdependent with each other by the nature of Love

Action Step

Observe today how well you move in the water’s
of Love’s Oneness
& interdependence with all life

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Copyright (c) 2006-2017 by Scott & Shannon Peck

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