Love Skill #44 – Express Unconditional Positive Regard

Peace Skill #5   (Love Skill #44)

Express Unconditional Positive Regard

By Dr. Scott Peck


Unconditional positive regard
transforms hearts & opens doors to peace


When you view others as worthy of love just for being alive and hold them in a space of honoring rather than judgment, you are expressing an attitude of unconditional positive regard.

Unconditional positive regard does not mean you condone a person’s actions or agree with a person’s position. It does mean, however, that you view this person as deserving to be treated with dignity as a human being. You regard the person in this positive light.

You can even see the core innocence and worth of a person who has wronged you, or who holds a position very opposite to yours.

As a Love Master, you may have to struggle to get there, but this positive attitude towards others creates peace. This also helps you stay in love, living a life of positive regard for all others.

Unconditional positive regard has immense power to transform hearts and open doors to peace.

Others in your presence who experience such unconditional positive regard will find their hearts melting into greater softness because of your love. Their staunch positions on issues will often yield to greater openness because they feel valued by you as a person.

You don’t have to agree with what someone says or has done in order for this person to be worthy of your positive regard. Unconditional positive regard transcends words and actions – however mean, harmful, or different – and focuses on every individual as being worthy of love.

For example, let’s take a challenging situation. Perhaps there is someone in your life who has been mean or unjust to you. How can you possibly love this person?

Think this through as a Love Master. Unjust or harmful words and actions against you, or anyone else, are unacceptable behavior. They need to cease. The words and actions can legitimately be condemned. But it is the words and actions you are condemning, not the person.

Think of this person when he or she was a one-hour old infant. What if you knew the entire history of what happened to this person from that first moment to today. What would you learn? Was this person abused? Was this person taught to hate? Did this person grow up in conflict? Did this person ever experience being loved? Was this person ever taught the love skills in this book?

As a Love Master, you see the in-born purity of each of us. You understand that people act from ignorance and suffering. You know the underlying solution to conflict is that we all deserve to be respected and loved, not hated.

This is the attitude of unconditional positive regard in the heart of a Love Master.

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Copyright (c) 2006-2017 by Scott & Shannon Peck

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