Love Skill #46 – Encourage Loving Speech

Peace Skill #7   (Love Skill #46)

Encourage Loving Speech

By Dr. Scott Peck


Loving speech
gently softens hardened hearts


Loving speech is like a soft breeze of love that gently softens hardened hearts.

Getting to loving speech during conflict is a challenge. Both sides are emotionally heated. They use strong, polarizing words such as, “You are an idiot!” “I hate you!” “You are totally wrong!” “I can’t believe you could do this to me!” “You’ve always been this way!”

How do you, as a Love Master on the path of creating peace, help the parties move towards more loving speech?

Primarily by your own example.

Every sentence that comes out of your mouth can be full of words that convey peace.

Rather than saying, “Would you just shut up and suggest a solution,” you might say, “We’ve got some strong feelings here and that’s a healthy part of getting to eventual peace. As challenging as it may be, let’s work through these issues with words that allow us to find genuine solutions without harming each other.”

As a Love Master helping to create peace, you know it may take many rounds of harsh words that will need to be re-expressed by you – in a softened, loving tone – to bring everyone to loving speech. You are the model in this stage of the peace process – and most likely the only model.

Loving speech softly but effectively infiltrates anger and division. Negative energy slowly dissolves when greeted by your persistently loving speech.

If you are a party to the conflict and you are trying your hardest to be a Love Master midst your own strong feelings, congratulations. Your motive is shifting the process towards peace.

You might find yourself saying, “I’m trying very hard to get past my anger and hurt and use words that will create unity rather than separation, so please bear with me. I genuinely want us to find peace.” This is an example of honest, loving speech rather than inflammatory, attacking words.

Loving speech has surprising results. To the extent that you use words that unify rather than separate, the conflict will begin to diffuse right in front of you. This is the extraordinary power of loving speech. “Tough” language doesn’t stand a chance against a persistent barrage of heart-felt loving speech. Separation begins to crumble.

No, you are not yet at the end point of peace just because speech is more loving. But you have dramatically shifted the energy to the side of peace. You are on the way. It’s all about the process.

That’s the secret in a Love Master’s heart. That’s also why you won’t run out of patience – because you know that peace is inevitable if you stay the course of loving speech.

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Copyright (c) 2006-2017 by Scott & Shannon Peck

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