Love Skill 50 – Create a Peace Ending

Peace Skill #11   (Love Skill #50)

Create a Peace Ending

By Dr. Scott Peck 

 

A Love Master creates peace endings
even if peace has not yet arrived

 

A true peace ending is the continuation of the process of peace rather than a specific outcome.

Even if parties in conflict reach an agreement to resolve a conflict, that does not necessarily mean they have arrived at peace. They may still be wary of each other. They may still distrust. They may still be on high alert. They may still be far from forgiveness. Or unity.

As a Love Master, you know this. You know that real peace is just beginning to take hold. You also know that if steady, open, and honoring communication continues, peace will move from “tentative” to “genuine.”

Even though conflict may have come to an end, the process of peace building continues.

So you might say to the parties involved, “I’m grateful we have moved to the place of ending the conflict. How do you feel now? What steps do you feel would lead to sustained and lasting peace?”

These are loaded love questions that may poke at smoldering hurts and cause sparks, but this is the courage needed to move the process from an end to conflict to the creation of genuine peace.

No matter how the parties respond, you and they are now fully engaged in creating a peace ending. Genuine peace requires lots of reassuring words and actions. Many of these words and actions have come from you in the role of peace builder. Now these words and actions can more easily come from the other parties too. Encourage all parties to express their own peace endings too.

What if you are personally involved in a conflict but want to create a peace ending yourself as a Love Master?

This intention alone moves the conflict towards genuine peace. You might say, “We’ve each done a lot of talking and listening to each other and we’ve each suggested solutions for unity and justice. I know we are still upset within our hearts, but I’d like to find a way of truly ending this conflict and moving to genuine peace. Can we discuss this?”

Here’s a big moment of truth. Even though you are creating openings for a peace ending, others may not be ready. That’s OK. You haven’t failed. You have succeeded because you are furthering the process of peace.

Don’t lose confidence in the process. Remind yourself that you are dedicated, as a Love Master, to unconditional positive regard. That’s a big commitment, but that’s the secret of creating genuine peace.

Even if parties decide to leave still short of genuine peace, you might say, “I’m glad we’ve all been so open and come so far. I’m committed to staying the course of peace and I’m going to continue holding the space for peace in my heart even when we part. I hope you will too.”

Creating peace endings that continue the process of creating peace is one of the secrets of a Love Master.


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Copyright (c) 2006-2017 by Scott & Shannon Peck

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